So I am like, super livid right now, please excuse any mistakes caused
by my rage.

I had to send my laptop to Acer for repair - it would not power on. A battery reset did not help. (There is no pinhole on this model, only the "software reset" available.)
I just got it back this morning, after 9 days.
Repair notes: Reseated and secured keyboard cable, updated BIOS.
Guess what - IT STILL WILL NOT POWER ON!!!!
At first I plugged it in and the battery indicator light was orange. I waited for it to turn blue, then waited about an hour longer because I was busy. No dice.2
Tried the battery reset again. No dice.
Opened up the case, keyboard cable looks perfectly fine, well-secured etc.
Talked to Acer and they want me to send it back again.... 9 days without my beloved laptop just about killed me and now they want me to do it again!!!!

Is there anything further I can do to diagnose this myself? I'm an experienced techie and not afraid to poke around as long as I don't violate my warranty...